Wish I Could Tell You
by Gerik's Angel
Summary: A JP oneshot about Jim's thoughts of his true feelings for Pam. This is also my first attempt at writing The Office, so be kind.


**Wish I could tell You**

An Office Oneshot

**Disclaimer**: I do not own The Office, nor any of it's characters. I only own this plotline.

Jim strummed his fingers as he looked over at her, laughing with Kelley and Phyllis, who pretended to care just how big a diamond she wore on her finger.

Pam's been getting really in to her wedding plans lately, especially when she was at the office.

Putting his hand on the side of his face to block his view of them, he went back to staring at his computer. Had he gotten a single thing done today but notice that Pam had refilled her candy stash with little mints instead of the usual jelly beans or gummy bears? Looking around his desk, he saw that he hadn't.

"So is it true?" Dwight leaned over and asked with that wickedly dork smile he always had on.

"Is what true?" Jim asked in a low, upset tone.

"The secret you had - that you love Pam!"

His face was so overjoyed it made him all the more annoying and unbearable. Jim thought up a dozen things to say to get back at Dwight, but his heart just wasn't in it. What was the fun in pulling pranks or the world's greatest one liners if there was no one to bask in his own glory with?

Jim lowered his gaze from over his computer where Dwight's face was and kicked up his feet on the desk, his back now away from Pam. Yet he couldn't help it - he looked over at her. Now they were all laughing as they pointed to different wedding dresses. Inwardly groaning, he turned back to his desk, running a hand through his hair.

Finally the clock struck five. Michael came out of his office and wished everyone a good weekend, ending with another one of his tacky jokes. Dwight quickly sprang up from his desk, grabbing his jacket and bag and running after their boss. One by one the office quickly emptied, until there was no one but him and Pam, who was packing up her stacks of plans and magazines.

"Hey Jim. Want to...walk to the parking lot together?" She asked, her arms filled with thick folders.

He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Gonna have to pass. I got some work to finish before I leave."

She leaned over and peered at his computer.

It had a screen saver with fishes swimming back and forth. Her eyebrows raised in interest. "Work, huh?"

He rolled his eyes skyward. "Didnt...start yet."

She nodded slowly, starting to really understand. "Alright...you have anything else to say? I mean, we hardly get to talk lately-"

"With your wedding plans." He said, his voice near breaking over the words.

"Yeah..."

He shook his head again. "No, nothing to say."

"Then I'll say goodbye." Pam concluded, then nodded slightly and walk away.

Jim listened to the door click shut, the lights starting to flicker. Shaking his head, he grabbed one of his pens laying useless and threw it across the room as hard as he could. It bounced off of two different walls a few times before landing on the floor.

He got up and walked over to Pam's desk, running a finger over it. When he reached the candy jar, he reached in and grabbed a few, popping them all in his mouth, just to wrinkle his nose in distaste before spitting them out in her trash can. Looking below at a cubby, he saw that she had forgotten to take a paper with her. Picking it up, he saw that it was a sketch of a wedding scene. Everything was completed but the groom's head. Cocking his own head to the side to ponder about this, he soon let the drawing fall from his hands, his heart starting to pound in painful thoughts.

"I wish I could tell you..." He whispered, sitting down in her chair and looking at her computer, just to see that she had done a rough sketch of a wedding dress on her program Paint.

"I wish I could tell you what I really feel. To not be intimidated, to not be the quiet shy one that waits while his love slips away. I wish I could tell you just what I feel for you, instead of covering it up and hoping that it'll make it all go away. As if love is a feeling that simply can go away." he buried his head in his hands, his chest growing in hurt. "I wish I could tell you that I love you."

But suddenly, a moment or so after his words were spoken, he thought he heard something. Not wanting to feel stupid at feeling spooked by his words that someone perhaps had heard him, he let it go. But when he heard another noise, his curiosity was peaked and the looked up. Oh, he nearly died right there in that chair when he saw who was standing at the door, a single tear falling down her cheek. Pam.

He simply shrugged at her silent question. She walked over to the desk, reaching down to grab that sketch she had forgotten. Not wanting to leave and grasping for something...anything to say, she spoke, "You spit mints in to my wastebasket." Trying to make light.

He looked down and turned red. "Yeah..." suddenly he stood up and grabbed his coat. "I got to go."

She watched the door shut after she took her place in her seat, reaching for a pencil to finish the sketch. But it wasn't Roy's face that stood beside her in that groom's tux on her wedding day.


End file.
